Letting go of expectations
This is one of the most difficult things for people to do. Letting go of expectations of the world (family, friends, etc.) and of yourself. Letting go of expectations of your actions. You do something and expect a certain result, in a certain time period. It’s understandable. The problem is that it leads you to question your actions in the first place. When you are doing something solely for the result, you aren’t enjoying the moment of what you are doing. When you fall into this trap, life becomes a rat race…. I just have to do this so I can get that!
Do you ever feel that way?
Once you truly start to let go of expectations, you will be saying to yourself “I can’t believe I didn’t do this sooner”.
Our entire life revolves around falling in line. Our true self gets squashed as we go through adolescence and the school system. SIT DOWN, SHUT UP, FOLLOW THE RULES. This leads to us losing touch with ourselves. It leads to us losing our voice. Our dreams get squashed because we are told to be realistic, or have a back up plan. You feel less than if you don’t go to college or do well in school, yet most successful people I know weren’t great students, or dropped out of college. Think of all the mega rich people you know!
When you start to work on yourself, and get away from societal expectations, it’s easy to become obnoxious. This can last for years. It’s an instinctual reaction. You start thinking “I don’t care what people think”. There is a fine line between not letting people control you, and not caring what people think. When you don’t care at all, you become obnoxious. You want people to accept you and your viewpoints, but your delivery is terrible. How do I know? Because that was, and still is sometimes, me. This may make you want to retreat to the familiar way of blending in, or it makes you push people away because they’re “all idiots”. This is no way to live!
How do you know if you are living in alignment then?
What are you passionate about? What gets you excited? Really think about this. This is your true self. If it’s something you are excited about, then you should want to pursue that regardless of outcome. When you pursue regardless of outcome, you become patient with whatever outcome comes out! You are able to have some peace and happiness, even when the obstacles come up, because you know they will. You are able to to keep going because you create your purpose. All those expectations, and shutting down of your true self, come from hiding your true self. The parts of you that you hide are called your shadow. There’s no reason to be afraid of that word. You’ve probably said “I have a little bit of a dark side”. It’s the same thing, just different language.
If you would like some prompts to get started figuring out your shadow, or dark side, send me a message. As you uncover these parts of you, you can begin to integrate them into your life in a more productive way. As you start to fully accept yourself, you will find less of a desire to convince people of your perspective… you just live it. When people see that peace radiating, they may be confused, but they won’t be able to help but accept it, which is what you probably wanted all along.
How can this help me with my health/fitness/body?
As you uncover these things, you start to realize the self limiting beliefs that you have from hiding parts of you, which is rooted in shutting down your true self. You believed that you weren’t good enough. You believed you are just like the rest of your family. You believed you were destined for mediocre feelings about life. “This is just how it is” is something you may have said multiple time. When you begin to live a certain way because it falls in line with who you are, you tend to make healthier decisions. You go for the walk because of how it makes you feel, not because it will help you lose weight. You eat better foods, because of how it makes you feel, not because of an expected response on the scale. When you start living this way, the health/body/fitness goals start to happen. They may be slow, but have the quick fad diets worked to keep weight off in the past?
Something to think about!
