Lean into discomfort

What does leaning into discomfort mean?

This is weird to try to explain, mainly because I write with stream of thought. Our natural inclination is to avoid discomfort (ironically, our brains also create chaos!). Our brain wants comfort (or familiarity). Unfortunately, familiarity is often not what’s best for us. You see these patterns with people in abusive relationships. They are used to them. They can’t settle into a healthy relationship. All they know is chaos! As a “nutrition coach”, I have had the opportunity to work with hundreds of people and get to know many of them intimately. It has been an amazing opportunity for me to learn from other people. I see their struggles. I listen and ask questions and watch people discover the answers that are inside them. I gained a whole new perspective when one of my clients discovered that she has created an “ugly exterior” to avoid unwanted sexual attention that she received in her early teen years. This was groundbreaking for her, and eye opening for me.

So what does leaning into discomfort mean?

The things that are the most frightening need to be investigated. We need to look within ourselves and find out what is so frightening about it. We need to discover why we self sabotage. We need to lean into the discomfort of finding these things out. As we lean in and discover these things, there is a peace that washes over us simply from the discovery. That is when even more work needs to be done. I also had a young male client discover how much food is an emotional support. It goes back to how his family showed him love. This is something that he is navigating. He is recognizing the behavior earlier and earlier. This discovery came when I asked him to journal about what was going on after it happened, which led to him journaling about it as it was about to happen, which led to him recognizing the behavior before it happens. This process is not instant!

So what does leaning into discomfort look like in other areas?

I have a banner on my wall that says “COMFORT IS A SLOW DEATH - PREFER PAIN”. The pain, for me, refers to the pain of investigating these things. It also refers to the pain of training, not hitting snooze, drinking the water I know I require, choosing the veggies, having routine, doing cardio even though I hate it! It refers to the physical limitations we put on ourselves. Now it’s your turn!

What discomfort have you leaned into? What discomfort do you know you are avoiding? Why do you allow feelings to direct all your decisions? What is holding you back from creating and acting on the life you envision for yourself? Do you envision something better or have you submitted to “this is how life is”? If you’re reading this from the email, I encourage you to go back to that and reply with your story. You may write something that will inspire someone else - yes I will share it (possibly!)

Talk soon,

Coach Jim